Brief before 9am chat with HR employee
HR employee: Walks into my suite and says, "Good morning Miss Heather" to a fellow employee.
Me: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Why don't you call me Mister John?
HR employee: You want me to call you Mister John? I'll do it.
Me: Esh, on second thought I don't really want that. I thought it would be a little more difficult to convince you. Now I just feel kind of weird that you really would call me that.
HR employee: [Upset and frustrated; walks out].
Quick chat with HR employee; ends in tripping and...
Me: Did you go see Obama this morning?
HR employee: No. I had too much work to do.
Me: Let me ask you a question. If you were elected President of the United States, what's the first thing you'd do when elected to office?
HR employee: I'd look at the economic situation.
Me: I looked at that while flipping through the business section of the NY Times this morning. I'm asking what you would actually do. (at the end of the question I spray cleaning duster in his general direction)
HR employee: Why'd you just spray that? Don't do that.
Me: It slipped, but now that you bring it up -- if you don't give me a straight forward answer I will spray it at you again.
HR employee: I think the economic situation is bad [I grip the can and point towards him]. And I just think it's important that we look...
Me: Come on, you're better than that. [SPRAY!]
Me: Have you ever seen Man on Fire?
HR employee: Yes.
Me: Remember the scene in the car... duct tape... steering wheel... lack of answering questions.
HR employee: Is that a threat because I'm telling you what...
HR employee: Rghhh.
HR employee: [Gets up. Tries a nifty move where he slams the door with his foot on the way out; instead falls on the ground].
Top 5 list of the week
I’m not entirely sure what spawned this Top 5 list. Might be a recent toilet reading of Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. This week, we’ll check out the top 5 Real World cast members (of all time, of course).
Facebook status: I'm voting for McCain/Palin...
Quick thoughts on the type of person who would put this Facebook status up: 1) You don’t work hard enough to make enough money for Obama to raise your taxes (because you posted this at 1:31pm on a Wednesday). 2) You are stupid. 3) Combine #s 1 and 2 and you get the simple fact that you are lazy and stupid — so you actually won’t ever have to worry about Obama raising your...
It seems so odd to me that given the amount of news coverage I watch (ahem: refresh Drudge Report) that I haven’t seen this yet. Terry Tate or bust.
Open Letter on Craig's List
An Open Letter From Your Local Adult Store Clerk Date: 2008-10-13, 10:17AM EDT Dear Adult Store Shoppers, Maybe you want to buy some pornography or maybe you’d like to purchase some condoms, lube, lingerie, toys, games or whatever other merchandise we carry. That’s great, and I hope you find what you want in the store, but please, avoid these pitfalls and be a good customer. 1. If...
Top 5 list of the week
Every single day I go home for lunch. The deep recession has forced me to cut back on eating out. One of my roommate’s also goes home for lunch everyday. And we ALWAYS end up watching some badass late-80s or early-90s TV. With that being said, the TV watching has motivated me to create the Top 5 most badass TV characters E-V-E-R list.
Top 5 list of the week
After some pretty serious discussions this weekend with friends I’ve decided I’m making the list the Top 5 people you’d want to pose with on the cover of a magazine.
The first time someone pulled this up on the computer, I could only hear the sound. This guy sounds just like Mark Wahlberg. It’s ridiculous.
Brief chat about Pack Pride hypotheses
Me: On Pack Pride they are talking about how Clemson is coming after Butch when they fire Bowden.
Black Santa: On Pack Pride they think every school with a job opening is going after Butch.
Me: That's awesome.
Black Santa: They have a 17 page thread about him going to Tennessee. That is the most discussed thing on their board. Sad.
HR professional talks to me about silk worms and...
** Please remember that this conversation really happened. At 8 am.
HR professional (completely new one that has never mentioned socks to me before): You look nice and rested this morning.
Me: Hmmmm... I think it's just that my hair is still wet. Because I'm not really rested.
HR professional: So what's up with no socks? It's kind of weird.
Me: I don't really like wearing socks. Unless it is really cold or I am wearing a suit. And then it's kind of obnoxious.
HR professional: It's kind of like women who don't wear slips.
Me: I don't know what you are talking about.
HR professional: Yeah, women who don't wear slips are weird to me. Because their dresses slide all up in between their legs. And they kind of look like hookers and stuff.
Me: Are you saying I look like a hooker?
HR professional: No. But anyways, did you know that most rich women don't actually wear slips -- because all of their clothes are lined.
Me: I wish all of my clothes were lined. With silk. The finest silk in the world.
HR professional: Well a lot of folks actually have their own silk worms and then collect the silk and make stuff with it.
Me: Wow. A lot of people do that? A lot kind of implies that a majority of people do that. And I don't know a single person who owns his or her own worms.
HR professional: Well, me personally, I could never deal with something that comes out of something's butt.
Me: Good point (start walking slowly away).
HR professional: I mean, milk. I could milk a cow. Just wash off the teet and then get going.
Me: Hey I'm sorry, I gotta run I have to go make a couple calls. We'll finish this up later.