Chat w/ Garcia about Craigslist girls
Garcia: Yo. I was just on Craiglist. There are some freaks on there, bro.
Me: Yeah, you might want to watch out though.
Garcia: Nah man, I would never do anything with them. But I might call them on Saturday morning just to talk a little shit. You know I get worked up when Syracuse plays basketball. Gotta take that stress out on someone.
Me: So how would this work?
Garcia: Dude, you just tell them you want to meet up and then see what they say. Then tell them you will see them there and don't show up. Done.
Garcia: They'd probably be like, "$100 for a couple hours, but you gotta bring me a pack of Newports and a Pepsi."
Me: $100 for a couple hours? Not bad.
Garcia: Yeah, but the breaking point would be the Newports. I don't share my Newports with anyone.
This guy is getting his money’s worth.
Not that many of you all give a shit, but I created an e-mail account for the blog so anyone could e-mail me ideas. Any funny comments will, of course, probably be put up. Also, if you want to give me some top 5 list ideas I’ll try to knock them out in the future. The e-mail address is email@example.com
No top 5 list this week
But I am back today.
No posts today.
I think I have bird flu or the plague so I’m going to have to skip out on my usual debauchery today.
Beware of imitators
A friend of mine — (we will call him Deep Throat v 2.0) — found a LoaferSanSocks imitator on the internets today. I was planning on putting the address for this clown’s site on my blog for everyone to see, but quickly realized that I would be validating this miscreant. Listen, I realize that there is a quizzical, geeky aura surrounding my blog. And it’s awesome. Most...
Chat with Garcia about marriage
Me: How's your lady friend?
Garcia: She's good and shit.
Me: When are you getting married?
Garcia: Dude, never again. Did that once. Not doing it again.
Me: Why not?
Garcia: I'm not even going to talk it, but I will say this. Just some advice. Take it for what it's worth. If you ever get married take at least five Valiums before you say that oath.
Me: Five? Valiums? Seriously?
Garcia: Yeah dude. Once you say 'Yes' it's over, man. I'm telling you. It's really over. But listen man, I was sweating my ass off. The Valium messed me up. The sweat was dripping off my head. Down my nose. Oh God. It was terrible.
Me: It was that bad?
Garcia: I'm a free spirit. It's not for me. Remember when you were growing up and you couldn't wait to move out of your parents' house so you wouldn't have to call them and tell them where you are at and stuff?
Garcia: That's what marriage is like. It's like, "Where are you? Why didn't you call?" The worst, dude. Not. For. Me. You'll probably like it though because you are a nice guy and shit.
Me: Well thanks. When I get married I'll keep you posted on my thoughts.
Garcia: Please do. But don't forget that Valium trick.
Ohhhh so this explains it. Click here to find out... →
Top 5 list of the week
Top 5 most rewatchable movies