I'm gone
I’m leaving for Texas shortly. Hopefully, I can get some good swine flu mask pics for your enjoyment.
Genna, I will do my best to figure out what kind of swineage is creeping around the airports and report back.
Later kids.
April 2009
Starbucks crush update
I’ve actually received a lot of feedback re: AJ, the Starbucks Girl. I hadn’t managed to make it back to Starbucks this week — for a variety of reasons. I went back today. And here’s what happened.
She wasn’t there.
Booooorrrrring.
Almost picked up by a prostitute at 11:05 am on April 29
- I was running an errand about an hour ago and realized that I was about to run out of gas. Literally, the gas light has been on for two days. So I head to the closest gas station relative to where I was, which just happened to be in a shady area. Below is the conversation I had with an incredibly entrepreneurial young lady.
- Prostitute: Whatchu wantttt?
- Me: Some gas. I was about to run out.
- Prostitute: No, I mean what you wantttttttt?
- Me: I'm afraid I don't understand what you are asking me?
- Prostitute (begins touching my sports coat): You match up your clothes so good. Where dat tie from?
- Me: It was a gift.
- Prostitute: So whatchuuuu waaaanttttt?
- Me: I'm actually all done pumping my gas and I have an incredibly important meeting to get back to. Good luck in your endeavors.
- Prostitute: Come on back anytime.
- Me (in the car by myself): Shiiiiiitttttt.
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Brief e-mail exchange between Matt and me re: TEXAS
- Me sending e-mail to Patrick CC'ing Matt: We are leaving RDU on American Airlines flight 595 at 3:20pm on Thursday. Will be getting to Dallas at 5:25pm. On Sunday we are leaving Dallas at 6:40pm. Also, do Matt and I need to bring anything special to wear? By that I mean sports coat or something similar?
- Matt responds to all: We are going to Texas not Queen of Hearts. Bring a cowboy hat.
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Top 5 list of the week
I’m going to Texas this week. Thursday to be exact. Needless to say, I’m jacked. Basically I only have a couple of things I’ve set in stone to do while I’m there.
1) Eat nothing but steak. Preferably raw.
2) Drink beer and smoke a cigar with George W. Bush.
3) Drill for oil. They still do that in Texas, right?
4) Go to San Antonio and bitch slap Tim Duncan.
So here’s the deal. This week, I’m going to countdown the Top 5 things in Texas. Things is ambiguous as hell, but will suffice. Stay tuned.
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Official Friday theme
A couple of things:
For those of you who are new to this blog — I have a tradition of putting up a picture of Kim Kardashian on Fridays. This was the first of my weekly tradition. Subsequently, I added Blake Lively Monday. BL Monday made me look fwd, as much as possible, to Monday mornings. And somewhere along the line, I added the weekly Top 5 Countdown. A couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that KK Friday was starting to wear on me a bit. I was a little disgruntled with KK for A) having gross feet B) being a terrible person and C) not producing enough solid pictures each week for me to pick and choose rare gems.
With all this being said, I’ve decided that today, April 24, 2009, I will put an end to KK Friday. My love hex has been undone. Yes, it’s an undeniable diagnosis. With this post I’m bidding farewell to the first tradition of Loafersansocks. My reasons are not wholly explicable.
This turn of events has made for a difficult decision. Should I replace KK Friday with something else? To a certain extent, it would feel like cheating. KK was the first love of the site. She left readers and skimmers, alike, with a bouncy ending to the week.
But after minutes and minutes of thought, I decided that there is ONE person that could truly replace KK on Friday afternoons. That person… drum roll please…
AUDRINA PATRIDGE.
I’ve received a lot, and I mean a lot, of positive feedback when posting pictures of her. And as we all know… I aim to please. Today. April 24, 2009. Will be the first inAPpropriate Friday. Cheesy. Shit. I need a better name.
