Conversation with Admin Assistant about sports/gender
Let me begin by saying that I respect women who play sports. Let me add that there is no woman who is #1 at her respective sport who could beat the #1 male at that same sport. I assume almost all of you agree.
AdminAssist:I could beat you in basketball.
Me:I'll bet you $1,000 that you can't. Not under any circumstance.
AdminAssist:OK deal. I have to ask my boyfriend first.
Me:You have to ask your boyfriend if you can bet me $1,000 to play a game of pick up?
AdminAssist:Yeah, he pays the bills.
Me:Why do you think you can beat me in basketball?
AdminAssist:Because I'm good at sports. And even if you are good. Women are equally as good at sports as men.
Me:That's simply not true. I admit that women are talented, but it is impossible to say that in head-to-head match ups a woman would beat a man. A woman might be as fundamentally talented, but biologically men are stronger and faster than women. I'm not being sexist, it's just the way bodies work.
AdminAssist:So you are saying that every man is stronger than every woman?
Me:Not at all. I'm simply saying that if you take the best men's basketball player in the world and pit him against the best women's basketball player in the world, there's absolutely no chance the woman wins. Or if you pit the best male sprinter in the world against the best women's she will never win. I'm sorry. I'm not sorry.
AdminAssist:I'd have to see that to believe it.
Me:How about this -- LeBron James is the MVP in the NBA. He averaged 28.4 points a game, 7.2 assists, and 7.6 rebounds. He is 6 ft 8 inches and weighs 250 lbs. Candace Parker was the MVP in the WNBA. She averaged 18.5 points a game, 3.4 assists, and 9 rebounds a game. She is 6 ft 4 inches and weighs 193 pounds. How could you possibly think that she stands a chance against that guy. Or how about this? The world record in the men's 100 meter dash is 9.69 seconds. The women's record is 10.49 seconds. That means if the two best sprinters in the history of civilization ran against each other the man would win. And that goes for every single track and field event.
AdminAssist:Well it's not fair that women don't have the opportunity to play men.
Me:They do. And every single time it happens the woman is destroyed. Annika Sorestam finished dead last in a men's golf tournament. Serena Williams played a middle-of-the-road men's tennis player and didn't win a game. And Nancy Lierberman, one of the best women's basketball players ever, tried out for the Pacers and didn't even make it past mini-camp. I'm not being sexist. I'm merely stating the facts.
AdminAssist:Well who takes those statistics?
AdminAssist:And there's no error in the stats?
Me:You're trying to tell me that the statistics taken by both humans and computers over the span of human's existance is flawed? If that's the case then we have a lot more to worry about than who would win in a foot race.
AdminAssist:You never know.
Me:Actually that is something you do know.
AdminAssist:Well we will prove this on the basketball court.
Me:You are going to judge all the world's athletes based on the result of you and me playing a 1-on-1 basketball game? And if you are, my conclusion that men are more athletic than women will still stand true. Because I am going to beat you.
I’ll state for the record that, in my mind, I was on Tumblr before this shit blew up like NSYNC. We are getting dangerously close to the one year anniversary of Loafersansocks, which will inevitably be a big day for the internet. Occasionally, I will look around at some of the more popular sites that Tumblr hosts. And GD they are so emo. I’m not saying that this is necessarily a bad thing. It’s just overwhelming at times. Tumblr is basically the internet equivalent of ironic T-shirts. But wait, ironic T-shirts are probably behind the trend curve for emo kids now. Damn.
Another observation: Tumblr has become very incestuous. Everyone blogs and re-blogs and re-re-blogs. And now Tumblr has decided to rank how popular your blog is by how many people take your original material and put it on their blog. Which, frankly, doesn’t make much sense. Or maybe I don’t understand it, which I’m actually pretty proud of.
I’ve been told my blog was, at times, shallow. Well thanks for nothing, trollups. So I’m throwing down the gauntlet and showing I’m real real deep. This week, I’m going to ramble off five obscure books that I’ve read that I think you should read before you’re six feet under.
Note: There won’t be any mention of the classics on this list so if you don’t see R.L. Stine’s magnum opus OR To Kill a Mockingbird don’t be too upset.
I received an e-mail today giving a brief update on the video I put up yesterday in which a mixed-race rastafarian break dancer gets his face bashed in. Just so everyone is on the same page here:
This was from a movie called “Never Back Down”. Apparently, it’s a toilet of a movie — so don’t waste your time. This scene is the climax (as far as intensity goes). Knowing this information helps answer my major question about the movie: Why was I not invited?
Thanks for the heads up, JR.