Okay, picture this. You’ve been grinding to the sweet DJ beats at a friend’s wedding (in Malibu!), probably more than a little tipsy from vodka, wedding cake, love and more vodka (not that I’m speaking from experience or anything.) All of a sudden, the DJ puts on some J Biebs. You, naturally, go crazy. However, this time it’s a little different. It’s not the crowd pleaser “Baby” or even “One Time.” Oh no- it’s one that only those pretty loyal to the Biebs know about…and that’s “One Less Lonely Girl.” Not only are you grinding to Justin Bieber, you’re slow grinding to Justin Bieber. Just when you think it can’t get any better…JUSTIN BIEBER HIMSELF SHOWS UP TO SING YOU THE REST OF THE FREAKING SONG. Literally, I think my head would explode- and I’m not saying that with an ounce of sarcasm. For those of you at our nuptials, you may recall during the band’s break a sweet DJ set that included not only Mariah Carey’s “Always Be My Baby” (you’re welcome) but also “Baby” by Justin Bieber. I don’t care that I’m a 26 year-old who owns BOTH Justin Bieber albums. Because you know what? His music is effing happy and catchy. And sometimes, after 10 hours in a cubicle wearing a headset, you just want an escape to happy land, which includes 15 year-olds belting out song lyrics about prom. Which was almost 10 years ago for you. Yikes. I think I need to stop listening to Justin Bieber.
Anyways, I digress. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez crashed this couple’s wedding!! Holy crap! That shows me that a) the two of them actually have personalities and have retained ownership of (part) of their souls and b) they have a pretty good sense of humor. The only thing that would make me a little upset if I was the bride is that Selena Gomez would be wayyyy hotter and thinner than me- on a day when I’m supposed to be the center of attention. But, if that means I get Justin Bieber to perform live at my reception, so be it. Kudos to the Biebs and Selena for being normal for 2.5 minutes.
Shout out to Sticky Heels who posted this video yesterday. First of all, it’s f’ing hilarious. This girl is on POINT about everything. I snorted several times throughout her diatribe and pretty much want to be her BFF. There were a few things on here that I didn’t understand because I’m not as awesome at the Internet as a lot of people my age are, but I got the majority of what she was talking about and it’s SO TRUE. SERIOUSLY. Go ahead and watch it- I promise you’ll laugh your ass off.
Which will go into the cocktail below and enjoyed during our pre-party before seeing Huey Lewis & the News on Sunday. That’s right, we’re seeing Huey Lewis & the News Sunday. Again, not to be ironic (see #1 for more information). However, if Huey only plays his new stuff, I’m going to launch full beers on stage until I hear “If This is It” without apology.
The Salted Tarragon Greyhound:
*Grapefruit tarragon infused vodka
*Freshly squeezed ruby red grapefruit juice, strained of pulp and seeds
*Flaky sea salt or kosher salt
*Ruby red grapefruit wedges, for garnish
Fill a short glass with ice and add one part vodka, two parts freshly squeezed grapefruit juice. Transfer to a cocktail shaker and add a pinch of sea salt, and agave nectar to taste. Shake, pour, and garnish with a fresh wedge of ruby red grapefruit for the finishing touch!
God I just love her to pieces. Look at her, all explaining all of her wedding stuff to the Queen…as if the Queen gives a shit. I care Kate! Please can we be friends? Maybe even just Facebook friends? You’ve never been on Facebook? Never mind…Still, she should probably eat a cheeseburger- those hip bones look like they could cause serious damage.
5. Murdoch’s wife went HAM
Okay, by now all of you have seen the video where Wendi Deng, Rupert Murdoch’s wife, straight up body slammed/bitch slapped some guy/comedian/protestor who busted into Parliament all “I’m going to teach Murdoch a lesson and make a statement.” He probably thought it would be easy considering Murdoch is like 99 years old and doesn’t look like he gets out in the sun much. You know what he didn’t count on? Murdoch’s amazon 43-year-old wife who HANDLED that dude…hard. Everyone else is being all English and proper and sitting with their hands crossed nicely in front of the other as the situation unfolded and BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE Wendi!! Holy crap! All I have to say is that Beyonce, you may have had an altar ego named Sasha Fierce- this woman IS F’ING SASHA FIERCE. I mean where did that come from?! I was so amazed at the situation, I decided to do a little research on Wendi. Homegirl’s biography reads like what I would imagine major plotlines in a Danielle Steele novel. Lower middle class girl born in tiny Chinese town in the midst of cultural unrest and turmoil who was a pretty good volleyball player (which may explain her awesome blocking skills this week.) She enrolled in medical school but quit and befriended an American family in China. 19-year-old Wendi convinced the family, the Cherrys, to sponsor her to come to the U.S. with them to take undergrad courses at a California college. TWO YEARS LATER THE CHERRYS GOT A DIVORCE AND MR. CHERRY MARRIED WENDI. Are you SHITTING me? But it gets even juicier! Wendi basically stayed married to the guy long enough to get her green card, and once that was in her hands, bye-bye Mr. Cherry. She marries another dude, goes to Yale, divorces said dude, then moves to Hong Kong for an internship with one of Murdoch’s media outlets. She essentially crashed a super swanky dinner party as a 20-something INTERN, ran into Murdoch in the hallway- no talking, just saw one another- and instantly became inseparable. The rest is history. I mean seriously why hasn’t Lifetime made this a movie yet?! Homewrecker genius 5’10” beautiful Chinese girl somehow becomes media mogul’s wife and baby mama?!?! Wowza.
While Reckner was at The Potter, two of my friends and I attempted to go see Bad Teacher. Unfortunately, we were shut out because that specific theater was closed down to accommodate the mass of Potter fans. We made a snap judgment and decided to go see Bridesmaids instead. I know, I know. Three grown men going to see Bridesmaids. Whatever, it was hilarious. As a matter of fact, it’s one of the funniest movies I’ve seen a while.
The night didn’t end then. One of my friends, GP, is a big, big fan of Hooters. Specifically, he says they have the best wings in the world. Last night, he justified this by simply saying, “OK, well they are my favorite wings in the world. They might not be the best, but they are my favorite.”
There’s an item on the menu called the “Gourmet Chicken Dinner”. This is comprised of 20 wings and a bottle of Korbel for $30. Naturally, this seemed to be a perfect fit for the evening. We attempted to order it. We were denied. GP told me that this is actually the second time he’s attempted to order the “Gourmet Chicken Dinner”. Each time, the excuse is, “We don’t really have that on the menu, man.”
Last night, this excuse did not suffice. We called the manager over, who was noticeably stoned, and asked him for an explanation. The manager, who didn’t know what Harry Potter was, said, “You’re not missing out on anything — would you really want that anyway?” Well… let’s see. We ordered it. And we were denied. It should be apparent that we wanted the “Gourmet Chicken Dinner”.
Still not satisfied with the staff’s apathy and ignorance, we took matter into our own hands. I pulled out the trusty iPhone and went to the corporate website and found the “Contact Us” button. Fortunately, they have a quick and easy troubleshooting section. I quickly filled out some questions and described the incident.
Today, my friends, I got a response. I’ve pasted it below. I don’t know where this will lead, but GP, Tyler and I can only hope this means a tour of the Korbel winery and possibly a year’s supply of breaded chicken wings.
Dear Mr. XXXXX:
We at the Hooters Hotline received your comments regarding the unavailability of the Gourmet Chicken Wing Dinner with a bottle of Korbel Champagne at our restaurant in Raleigh, North Carolina. We genuinely apologize for the disappointment your Hooters visits caused and appreciate your taking the time to write us. Feedback such as yours helps us identify ways to improve in our continuous quest to deliver the ultimate Hooters guest experience.
Because we want to share your remarks with our restaurant, we have forwarded your message to the General Manager in Raleigh, the Area Supervisor, and the Divisional Vice President. Our desire is to make Hooters your choice once again for terrific food, beverages, and fun.
Thank you, Mr. Hardin, for sharing your comments. We apologize again and look forward to making your next Hooters visit a pleasant and memorable one.
Should you like more information about us, please visit us on the Web at www.hooters.com.
Dennis Charles Hooters Hotline…We give a Hoot!
P.S. Please retain the ticket number located below. This will help us locate your information should you need us again.
Hello and good morning to all of you faithful Loafers followers. While I am definitely not as awesome at Internetting as Loafers or my sister, I do hope you enjoy my new segment on the blog. It’s going to be a personally-selected weekly concoction consisting of a dash of pop culture, a dollop of personal updates and probably some heavy handed mixing of reality TV references and/or cute dog pictures I find.
The order in which I post the items in Reckner’s Week in Review has no bearing on which ones are my favorite or most important items of the week. Please do email email@example.com if you have ideas or suggestions on ways I can improve this segment! I’ve never done this before and I have a lot to learn from you professional Tumblrs out there.
Without further ado….
Reckner’s Week in Review: Week of July 11, 2011
1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows released on 7/15: As you may have gathered from my earlier guest post, I’m pretty obsessed with Harry Potter and well, enjoy other pieces of “literature” from the Tween genre (Twilight or Hunger Games anyone? I can go all night.) But Harry Potter holds a special place in my heart. My sister and I started reading the books when they came out when we were in middle school, and we’ve been to all of the midnight release book parties and most of the midnight movies. Every summer, we got a huge thrill from staying up late to read or see the latest in the Harry Potter series. This movie was absolutely no exception (except Hans and I had to text from several states away to compare notes after the movie.) Sure, I may be 26, but that doesn’t mean I’m too cool to enjoy seeing super excited kids in their Gryffindor scarves and capes lining up for the movie. But, at this age, I’m also allowed to be snarky and judge-y to those 40+ year olds who show up dressed similarly for the occasion.
The movie definitely met my expectations. I’m one of those “not as good as the book” types, but I still thought the movie was beautiful and extremely well done. I laughed, I cried and I choked on my beverage when they attempted to make the characters age 19 years (spoiler alert). I mean, you can make a dragon breaking through a bank look completely real, but you throw on a pencil skirt and bun on Hermione and she’s suddenly supposed to look 36? Someone got a little lazy there.
2. Texas forever: The season finale of Friday Night Lights
First of all, let me preface this section by saying that I’m a relatively newbie to this series. I started watching it seriously last year with Loafers and his roommate and got HOOKED. My first draw was the gorgeous men on the series (Tim Riggins is in my five and Coach can lay on top of me whenever he wants…sorry I’m not sorry Loafers) but when I got past that and actually started paying attention to the story lines, I got REALLY into it. Loafers has been watching it since it first started and has remained a hardcore fan. After he proposed, he literally quoted FNL. ((If you must know: “Babies and memories. That’s all we got left.”)) If you’ve never watched this show, do yourself a favor and sign up for Netflix and start live streaming it now. Seriously, go. I’m waiting. The characters are so real, you feel like you’ve just seen them at your locker and sit behind one of them in Geometry (swooning, duh.) Loafers and I found a way to watch the finale ahead of time and it was WAY more emotionally taxing than our wedding was. I’m sad to see FNL go, but I’m glad I got into such an amazing series while it was still on TV. Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can’t lose.
3. Prince William and Kate conquer America
Y’all- I’m literally IN love with these two. I’ve had dreams where I’m BFFs with Kate and we go shopping together and have other fun adventures and literally WAKE UP SMILING. Clearly, I think Prince William is adorable, but my real crush is on the Duchess. She is singlehandedly bringing back classic, tailored fashion (A-lines, what, what?!) and making brunettes hotter than hell. Clearly, I think homegirl needs to put back on a few pounds. She made Reese Witherspoon look like Shrek when they met, and that’s saying something. So, needless to say, I devoured all of the media coverage of their visit to Canada and the U.S. over the past week. They seem like such charming, real people and I just want to BE them. Anyone else feeling the same way? Or am I just a weirdo?
Many of you will remember that a year or so ago Reckner took over blogging for a week. Since then, I get e-mails and Tumblr messages asking for her return. The e-mail volume increased after I failed to get my friend Swedish to come up with a weekly section that he would sponsor.
The crowd roared, “We want Reckner! We want Reckner!”
Well friends, you have your wish. I’m proud to announce that every Friday Reckner will publish “Reckner’s Week in Review”. I make no promises as to the content. I’ve given her carte blanche to publish a once-a-week diatribe, rant, editorial, screed, column — whatever she wants it to be.
Beginning this Friday, Reckner will be in the house. Get ready.
I purchased a subscription to Netflix streaming. It instantly changed my life. I wasn’t sold on the idea because I’d always had cable. However, when Reckner and I moved into the new place, there were hardware issues and it took Time Warner Cable five weeks to install cable.
In the meantime, I updated my Instant Queue and have been devouring all sorts of material. Please see below for a complete list of what I’ve been watching:
(1) Blue Velvet
(2) Party Down - How I had not seen or heard of this before I got Netflix still befuddles me.
(3) Exit Through the Gift Shop
(4) Old Friday Night Lights Episodes - makes me so nostalgic
(5) Trailer Park Boys
(6) Tons of old No Reservations episodes from seasons 1 and 2
(7) Old Parks and Rec episodes
Here’s a list of what else is on the Queue, but not yet watched:
(1) Twin Peaks
(2) Archer - seen some episodes, but want to go back and watch old ones